There is no single right number, but a rhythm by closeness works well: close friends every week or two, good friends about once a month, and friends you see less often a few times a year. What matters more than frequency is consistency, and reaching out first without keeping score.
Updated October 2026
Pick a rhythm per person, not one rule for everyone. Then make it easy to keep.
| Circle | Who | How often |
|---|---|---|
| Inner circle | Partner, best friends, closest family | Every few days to weekly |
| Close friends | The people you would call with big news | Every 1 to 2 weeks |
| Good friends | Friends you enjoy but don’t see often | About once a month |
| Wider circle | Old classmates, former colleagues | A few times a year, and on birthdays |
Keeping a rhythm is easy for three people and hard for thirty. Starrise Contacts Pro has Keep in Touch reminders: choose how often you want to catch up with each person, every week, every month, twice a year or any rhythm you like. Starrise counts from the last time you were in touch and reminds you when it’s time.
Steps checked in October 2026 against Apple’s iPhone User Guide.
Yes. Most friendships do well with far less. What keeps a friendship alive is regular contact over time, not daily messages.
No. Keeping score is a common reason friendships fade. If you value the friendship, reaching out first is a good sign, not a weak one.
Set a rhythm per person and let your phone remind you. Keep in Touch reminders in Starrise Contacts Pro do this and count from your last contact.
Starrise Contacts works on the contacts already on your iPhone, iPad and Mac. No account, nothing to import. Free to download, with an optional Pro subscription.
Free on iPhone, iPad and Mac. Pro costs $0.99 per month or $5.99 per year in the US.
Find the right way to manage your contacts and relationships on iPhone, iPad and Mac.
