How many friends can you really keep up with? Set how many people are in each circle of your life and how often you want to be in touch, and see what that means for your week.
Updated October 2026
| Circle | People | Be in touch |
|---|---|---|
{count} catch-ups a week
{people} people, {year} calls, messages or meetups a year: about {day} a day.
Tip: a short message counts. Put the rhythm into Keep in Touch reminders and let your phone tell you who is next.
That’s a lot for one week. Try a slower rhythm for the outer circles: once a year is plenty to keep a connection alive.
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Why circles?
The anthropologist Robin Dunbar found that our relationships come in layers of roughly 5, 15, 50 and 150 people, each counting the ones inside it. The closer the layer, the more often we are in touch. The planner starts with those sizes as an example; change them to fit your life.
A rhythm that works
- Closest people: every week, often without planning it.
- Close friends: every month, a call or a meal.
- Good friends: every few months, a message when you think of them.
- Wider circle: once a year, on their birthday or name day.
The hard part isn’t the number, it’s remembering. With Keep in Touch reminders in Starrise Contacts Pro you set the rhythm per person, and Starrise counts from the last time you were in touch. More ideas in how to keep in touch with friends.
Related
FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
How often should you contact friends?
There’s no single rule. A common rhythm is weekly for your closest people, monthly for close friends, every few months for good friends and once a year for your wider circle.
What is Dunbar’s number?
About 150: the number of stable relationships Robin Dunbar suggests a person can keep. Inside it are closer layers of about 5, 15 and 50 people.
Can my iPhone remind me to keep in touch?
Yes. Starrise Contacts Pro has Keep in Touch reminders: pick how often you want to catch up with each person, and you get a reminder when it’s time.
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Try Starrise Contacts for free
Starrise Contacts works on the contacts already on your iPhone, iPad and Mac. No account, nothing to import. Free to download, with an optional Pro subscription.
Free on iPhone, iPad and Mac. Pro costs $0.99 per month or $5.99 per year in the US.